I wrote the words below in response to a thread about this article on a forum I frequent.  I hope it strikes a chord for some.  I love food and kind of don’t like working out that much, but I’ve been working hard to figure out a positive for myself when it comes to being active.  I’ve been thinking a lot about food and fitness and reconciling my desire to be healthy with my desire to be me, happy at the size I am.
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I have typed up about six responses to this thread and I keep not posting them. It’s so hard for me to talk about this stuff without getting way too personal.

Sometimes, the term ‘fat acceptance’ makes me uncomfortable (bad word but can’t find the right one) in the way that when I’m having a discussion, sometimes I don’t want to call it ‘women’s studies.’ Which is to say: I understand and appreciate where both terms come from, but when I’m debating the issue with someone who wants to get wrapped up in the semantics, I wish it was called ‘gender studies,’ because the concept is more inclusive than the term sometimes reads as, you know? Sometimes I wish ‘body acceptance’ more than ‘fat acceptance’ was the preferred term, because I don’t like that it all comes back to a fat versus thin binary. And I think my feelings about this come from being trapped in the middle.

So much of this needs to be about the food we eat and the way we treat our bodies. We owe it to ourselves to be healthy — to move our bodies, but also to push our bodies, to find out what they can do and where they are powerful and what promise they hold. Exercise isn’t just about weight loss goals. It’s about knowing the limit of your body and pushing just a little further. I don’t necessarily mean that you have to bench 150 or run a marathon. I mean that feeling when you go to an intense yoga class and your back bend goes a little deeper than it did the week before (the first time I saw the back of the room from a back bend was magical), or when you throw an extra 1kg weight on your bar at body pump class just to see what happens. I am by no means evangelical about exercise — many can attest to how difficult it is for me to motivate, and how I never get that feeling of euphoria people talk about. But I owe it to me to push one step further with my body like I do with my friendships, my work, my life. That’s growth.

And we owe those amazing, incredible bodies that can do so much more than we imagine — we owe them good fuel. And we owe ourselves nourishment that feels good and tastes good and is good. Whole, healthy, real foods. Foods made of food. Foods we can recognize all the individual parts of. Foods we make ourselves or that others make for us that are filled with vitamins, nutrients, and love and affection for our bodies and what they can do.

Many of us — not all, everyone is different, but many of us — need to think of food and exercise not as enemies of each other and of ourselves but as pieces of the puzzle that make us who we are. We need to stop using words like “I was bad today” to describe the choices we make. Moral judgements help no one.  We need to think in terms of doing things that feel good in the short and long term. And some days, we will choose Dairy Queen for lunch (I did today!), but maybe that same day we’ll choose to kick ass at a weights class (that was me, too) and fix a fantastically healthy and delicious whole food dinner (lemon dill chicken breasts and grilled veggies, coming up!). And we’ll find a balance for ourselves that respects our bodies — a balance that might not be a size 6 but that lets us run up the stairs without puffing or tie our shoes without sitting down or whatever our goals might be.

Everyone at every size deserves love and respect. On the other hand, every single one of us deserves a body that gets to do more and be more and try more than perhaps we imagined possible. And that body is different for everyone. And it is a body that still deserves love and care and respect.

I am 5’4″ and have been 200 lbs and I am now just under 150 lbs. Realistically, my weight loss is mostly done. My body feels very good here and when I restrict lower than 1350 calories I get too hungry during the day. So this is me and my body. I don’t know where I fit right now — I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been in terms of strength, endurance, ability, and flexibility. And on the days when I remember to be awed and surprised by this body of mine, I have a very good day. Sometimes, though, I let myself forget all the neat things this body can do. When I’m with my husband’s road cycling friends, I sometimes feel very self-conscious about my size (hard core cyclists are skinny dudes!). These days come and go, and just like the balance of the other choices we make, I get to make the choice to remember that every day I am given the opportunity to be good to myself. And that is where real body acceptance comes from. Not just loving ourselves and each other at every size — which is important — but loving ourselves enough to make healthy choices and fuel our bodies to do amazing things.